Supporting a Crewmate Who Is Struggling

title: "Supporting a Crewmate Who Is Struggling"

excerpt: "A safe, respectful approach to noticing changes, starting a conversation, listening, and connecting a crewmate with help."

meta_description: "Learn how to check in with a struggling crewmate, listen without judgement and respond safely to urgent mental health risk."

focus_keyword: "help a seafarer with mental health"

tags: [peer support, mental health, crew welfare, psychological safety, ISWAN]

—

# Supporting a Crewmate Who Is Struggling

You may notice a crewmate sleeping poorly, withdrawing, making unusual mistakes, appearing frightened, or losing interest in things they normally enjoy. You do not need to diagnose them. Your role is to notice, ask, listen, and help connect them with appropriate support.

Choose the right moment

If there is no immediate danger, choose a private, calm time—not during an argument, public meal, or safety-critical task. Use a factual observation: “You seem quieter than usual and missed meals this week. I wanted to check how you are.”

Avoid “Everyone thinks something is wrong with you” or “You need to toughen up.” Do not promise secrecy before hearing the situation. You can say, “I will respect your privacy, but if someone is in immediate danger, we need to get help.”

Listen before solving

Give the person time. Put away distractions. Reflect what you heard and ask open questions:

• “What has been hardest lately?”
• “How is this affecting your sleep or work?”
• “What would help you feel safer today?”
• “Who would you be comfortable involving?”

Do not compare their pain with someone else’s, argue them out of their feelings, or turn the conversation into an investigation. If the problem involves bullying, wages, workload, or family emergency, practical assistance may be essential.

Ask directly about safety when concerned

If someone expresses hopelessness, says others would be better without them, gives away possessions, or appears at serious risk, ask calmly and directly whether they are thinking about harming themselves. Asking does not create the idea. It helps clarify danger.

If there is immediate risk:

1. Stay with the person if it is safe.
2. Alert the responsible officer or medical contact.
3. Follow the vessel’s emergency and medical procedures.
4. Reduce access to immediate hazards only within your authority and training.
5. Arrange qualified help through ship or shore services.

Do not manage an emergency alone, and do not leave the person with only a website or phone number.

Help them choose the next step

Depending on the issue, options may include the master, designated medical officer, company welfare contact, union representative, trusted family member, or confidential helpline. Offer to sit with them while they make contact, if they want.

ISWAN’s SeafarerHelp provides free, confidential, multilingual support for seafarers and families. A union can advise on workplace causes such as harassment, unsafe conditions, or employment disputes. Neither replaces emergency response.

Follow up without taking control

Check in later: “How are you after our conversation?” Respect the person’s agency. Do not gossip, repeatedly demand updates, or become their only source of support. Encourage a wider support network.

Keep boundaries. You can care about someone and still need rest, supervision, or advice yourself. After a difficult conversation, speak confidentially with an appropriate support person without disclosing unnecessary details.

What leaders should do

Masters and operators should provide clear confidential pathways, train leaders to respond, address workload and harassment, and plan for urgent mental health situations. A poster about resilience is not a substitute for a safe culture and adequate systems.

Authoritative references

• ISWAN: Psychological Wellbeing at Sea
• ISWAN: Mentally Healthy Ships

Image guidance